Guidance from the Heart
An Edited Excerpt from Oral Teachings Given by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, Summer 2021
As you know, we have been starting every practice doing tsa lung and the nine breathings and then the prayers of guru yoga, refuge and bodhicitta. These form a basic foundation that we have been doing at retreats and continuing in our daily lives. And I feel strongly that this is what you can do for the rest of your life if you want to be serious.
I want to point out that for human beings in general and particularly those here in the West, we have this tendency to want to change things all the time. And in some sense it's the same even with us practitioners, many of whom I've seen expect new practices.
We can liken the practices that we've learned to a toolbox we've acquired, a really good toolbox, an antique one handed down through the generations, one of high quality that is valuable and effective, just a really great toolbox. So the toolbox consists of our practices like the nine breathings and the tsa lung practices. And as with any toolbox, it's always good to keep your toolbox with you, because you never know what exactly you might need it for next. If you have to repair a hundred-year-old garage, the toolbox will be helpful. If you have to repair a beautiful thousand-year-old temple, then the same toolbox will be of use for fixing that, too. So whether it's a temple or a garage doesn't make much difference; as long as you have your great toolbox it will be of use for fixing anything from a shrine room to a toilet.
In that sense, these practices we have are like a toolbox that is for you to keep, rather than your always trying to change the toolbox itself. If you had a really good toolbox, would you focus on always changing it? No, you would keep it and use it for whatever variety of things you need it for. What you need it for will vary, but the toolbox itself stays the same. However, if you are focused all of the time on just trying to change the toolbox itself, then it doesn't work.
I always tell those in the local sangha practice groups, if you get bored with one practice, then it's a sign that really you're just bored with yourself. So rather than asking every time, what practice should I do now? simply reflect and see which practice of yours is good for you now; which practice you like, and then simply do that one. After a few months of doing it you may feel, what a great practice, I've been doing it for six months. And the thought returns, now what practice should I do next?! That's the thing, you know? It's like saying, I have been with this person for 10 years and we are very happy! Now who should I be with next? Sometimes people act this way even if they don't say it. Instead they think to themselves, I am happy with you, but I'm ready to change.
The real issue, though, is that if you are bored with yourself then you'll be bored in life. If you are unhappy with yourself, then you'll be unhappy in life. It doesn't matter who you are with, you will be unhappy. It doesn't matter what you have, you will be bored. And that, I think, is really what it comes down to. That is really important for us to remember. We are talking here about the pain identity, the collective pain identities within society. They're very hard to get rid of, and they follow you through your life.
As practitioners, we can get distracted by the whole idea of just changing one's practices versus changing oneself. It's such an important place to pay attention: How much have I changed? Over the course of this retreat, I've often asked, As a result of the practices that we've been doing here, what do you feel has changed in you; what has surprised you; what had you previously thought you couldn't do that you actually did and are amazed at yourself for doing? I've not been asking how many practices have changed over the course of the retreat. In fact, it is all about your relationship to these practices and how it has deeepened. I know that during this retreat most of you have developed much more deeply your relationship to the lama, yidam and dakini. That is from a change in you, not in the practice.
It's the same thing when we are talking about the teacher-student relationship. As I mentioned earlier, I've been very fortunate to have met my teacher, H.E. Yongdzin Tenzin Namdak Rinpoche, as a teacher 50 years ago when I was 10 years old. And very fortunate to have lived in the same house with him for many years. He's been father, mother and friend to me. He has cared for me more than my parents did, providing me with clothes, food, knowledge, love.
And as I have often said, I have never had one day of questioning or doubt or judgment toward him. I have always had the purest devotion possible. And with my leaving the monastery to go teach in the West, the new physical distance between us was okay for me. Of course I would come visit him once or twice every year. But when I would travel to Triten Norbutse Monastery in Nepal, I would be careful not to hang out all of the time with him, maybe just half an hour a day for a total of about three visits with him over the course of a trip. Other than that, I feel that it's completely okay not to see him in person. You see, he's alive in me, and his presence in me is so strong that it doesn't make much difference whether or not I see him in person.
What I am trying to say here is, human relationship matters a lot. The quality of relationship matters a lot. And of course one always has to work with oneself in these relationships. Our relationship to the teachings, the lineage, the teachers are all important to pay attention to. So often in the West the relationships between parents and their children are problematic. And the relationships among each other in our societies are often very individualistic; this deep sense of community and of helping each other is not much there. Rather, it's very, very isolated and individualistic. And often that is mirrored in the family. It is similar in the teacher-student relationship. As well, in the relationship to the teaching and the practice, the devotion and connection and commitment are lacking. The sense of deep trust is lacking.
Clearly, though, when the situation in the family or in society or in the teacher-student relationship or any relationship is questionable, then of course, one should analyze the situation and not blindly agree with it and follow along, absolutely. But what is important is that at the personal level, in one's own life, in my life, in your life, we each need to protect ourselves from the negative impact of society and the media and social media. If you just look at the media alone here in the United States, the two major news networks present two totally different worlds. And no one from either side is saying they are lying. Rather, they are all saying they are telling the truth.
Even across the different schools of Buddhism there are different doctrines or sets of beliefs, leading to four ways or nine ways of defining what is the truth. So of course one can become polarized on some issues here and there, but at some point you have to come to acknowledge the truth that exists on both sides, honoring both sides, learning from both sides, unifying both sides together rather than always trying to polarize and separate and individualize.
And that's what we've been working on doing here over the course of this retreat, whether it's a rift or polarization in your relationship with your parents, your brother, your sister or anyone with whom you've had issues and about whom you might still have negative feelings. You don't want to be holding on to negative thoughts toward even one person, as you prepare to go to sleep, or as you prepare even to die. You want to hold some sense of compassion and kindness for everyone on this earth. That preparation is something that you have to do now, not afterwards. And that requires sacrifice. Sometimes sacrifice is not for the benefit of others, but rather it is for one's own growth. Then you feel free. And in the end you feel that you haven't sacrificed anything. In the beginning it feels like you are sacrificing something, but in the end you feel that you are the victor. In the beginning you feel like you've lost something, but in the end you feel like you have gained more than anyone possibly could!
So in our overall relationship to the teaching and the practice, our level of commitment is very important. As many of you know, as a teacher I work very differently from many teachers. It's not better, but different in the sense that I am really trying to meet you where you are. I'm really trying to understand. For example, there are people for whom the traditional practice of taking refuge in the lama, yidam and dakini is not important. That's okay. I will always try to communicate on whatever levels that you will understand. That is what I have been doing these past 32 years that I have been teaching in the West. On the other hand, there are people who feel a real connection through that refuge practice. And it's important to give encouragement and support to those people as well. But I am just as careful not to push others who do not feel like doing that. Both are equallly important to me.
You see, my intention is just to help. And there is no resistance in me personally; everything that I know, I can share any time anywhere without any reservation, and with no doubts. I have been doing just that, whether it's in person at our retreat centers, or online, or on Facebook. That's the main thing I have. That's the best thing that I have.
